tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6135864040815968690.post6544982566064037782..comments2014-05-11T23:31:37.898-04:00Comments on Holes 2 Heaven: My Adoption Story:::And then Some.Kristinahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07334881879650914173noreply@blogger.comBlogger11125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6135864040815968690.post-43606233640748107252010-04-13T23:47:09.132-04:002010-04-13T23:47:09.132-04:00Hope you're doing ok : )Hope you're doing ok : )Campbellhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/13600505149020853906noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6135864040815968690.post-21048453596037113532010-03-23T00:35:46.050-04:002010-03-23T00:35:46.050-04:00Kristina,
You commented on my blog aq few weeks b...Kristina,<br /><br />You commented on my blog aq few weeks back (foundyourmittens.blogspot.com) and I just only now found the time to come on over to your blog and check it out. I'm glad I did it now, as it's always good to know someones story. I wrote my own, and I'm glad to see that you wrote yours.<br /><br />Your story touched me very deeply. I reunited with my birthparents when I was even younger than M is, and it's been rough. Thankfully, my parents were on board with the idea, and they have been supportive of my reunion. I am truly saddened to see that M's parents are not...though I'm sure in their mind they have their reasons, nothing good can ever come from denying a part of a child's history.<br /><br />I hope that M and you can find a way to get to know eachother and to work on the relationship you seemingly both want. Practically speaking, in a few more years it wont BE her parents decision anymore (whether it is now is debatable, but at 18 she truly can in theory do whatever she wants). <br /><br />Your story is complex, as all adoption stories seem to be, and I'm glad I stumbled across this blog. I hope you can find the peace you need.<br /><br />-AmanbdaAmandahttps://www.blogger.com/profile/11621031650306994396noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6135864040815968690.post-57678342231004224782010-03-22T15:06:13.002-04:002010-03-22T15:06:13.002-04:00Hi Kristina,
We have so many of the same experienc...Hi Kristina,<br />We have so many of the same experiences! I also had to give my baby up as a teen. I was 16 years old (15 when pregnant) and the loss, shame and guilt I've felt over the years have almost consumed me. My daughter "K" just wrote to me 3.5 weeks ago and it changed my life, instantly!! I just started my own blog and I hope to continue healing and learning about others like you, who are trying to heal and reach out to their child. Love, JJenhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/05623651581706315558noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6135864040815968690.post-50004405579678182322010-03-14T22:19:07.432-04:002010-03-14T22:19:07.432-04:00Oh.My.Gosh! I wish I could've gotten here fas...Oh.My.Gosh! I wish I could've gotten here faster. What a site! I tend to check back often to read your posts'. Thanks for sharing....and I can sooooo relate to a lot of your feelings.Jenniferhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/00191520983383570919noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6135864040815968690.post-50649426557562570122010-03-02T16:02:14.507-05:002010-03-02T16:02:14.507-05:00Hi Kristina,
Welcome to the world of Open Adoptio...Hi Kristina,<br /><br />Welcome to the world of Open Adoption Lies. I'm sorry that you have gone through what you have. I hope that your daughter finds other ways to contact you. <br /><br />Also... there may be some grounds that you can claim insofaras legal issues. Don't give up!!! :)Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6135864040815968690.post-36932844489355879042010-02-28T11:18:08.575-05:002010-02-28T11:18:08.575-05:00i have just edited this story. my story.
i have a ...i have just edited this story. my story.<br />i have a long road to walk down, and i will walk it with my eyes and heart open to the possibilities of love. I am not angry, but i am sad and frustrated. M knows i love her and i will fight for her preservation with whatever it takes.<br />The odds are stacked against me only b/c i am not wealthy, but i do have a voice and i WILL make it be heard.<br />I have started working with Orphan Voyage and will be starting a support group here in my area with the help and guidance of Alice Syman, a veteran adoptee and first mother advocate and Orphan Voyage counselor. I am grateful she moved to my town and i am really looking forward to working with her.<br />If anyone is seeking reunion, I urge you to contact your local chapter of Orphan Voyage.<br />They can be trusted. Thank God!<br />another adoptee advocate is Joe Soll. Look him up. He holds conferences and reunion retreats and is a pshychotherapist in NY, specializing in Adoption Healing.<br />Knowledge IS Power.<br />xxxoooo<br />Much Love,<br />Mama K.Kristinahttps://www.blogger.com/profile/07334881879650914173noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6135864040815968690.post-73507234213197044292010-02-16T20:02:15.625-05:002010-02-16T20:02:15.625-05:00It's my forte to make typos, so here's ano...It's my forte to make typos, so here's another one *-sigh<br /><br />but it is hard missing out your whole *life having a relationship with one's Real Mom,The Improper Adopteehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/04460201280334904431noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6135864040815968690.post-71750504559841934322010-02-16T19:50:48.951-05:002010-02-16T19:50:48.951-05:00Hi Kristina-I wanted to reply to you sooner, but t...Hi Kristina-I wanted to reply to you sooner, but this has been one of those days when there was too much I wanted to do, needed to do, and had to do, and not enough time-so here I am 24 hrs later, LoL-I got your comment too and I will respond on my blog later or after I have enough coffe :) You know what-I usually get real upset with Real Mothers (and I have to call you women that-because you aren't "birthmothers", God, I hate that term-the parts all of us have because of our Mothers who gave birth to us ARE Real...)who have the attitude you have, but I am going to give you alot of slack for a few reasons-a.I only read this entry here on your blog and I should of read all the other ones before making a comment, b. I didn't realize you grew up in Foster Care and I am sorry you had to go through that and c. I wanted to ask you, were you using drugs before you got pregant or while you were? and d. You were misinformed by KoolAid Adoptees, LoL and that is not your fault, as you probably didn't understand how Adoption can effect other Adoptees(and I am talking about ones like me who were raised in Closed Adoption). I understand what it is to be lost-and confused-that I get...I know what it is to be self destructive too, and thanks to my AM I have been at times in my life-actually I understand what you went through more than you might think-I'm glad that you didn't have an abortion and you should be proud of yourself for that, it just makes me sad that you couldn't work up the confidence to Mother-you said in your comment you sent to my blog, that it was a semi-open Adoption, so I don't know what happened after you placed M-I know you Mothers who placed need to heal like we Adoptees do-and the ones who actually have remorse for taking us out of our familiies(or kicking us out, as some of us say) are the ones who deserve to heal-since I don't know all that went on, and is going on with your daughter, I can't say anymore-I guess some Adoptees feel that our Mothers should of pulled themselves up from the bootstraps after they had us and got it together-that being with us was the most important thing-we Adoptees have our pain to deal with, like you women have yours-but I think your daughter should try to forgive you-and understand-although it is hard, but it is hard missing out your whole having a relationship with one's Real Mom, and that will be the price if she doesn't. You seem like a real nice person Kristiana-and I think you care about your daughter-it's just some things Adoptees are anal about I guess, especially things our Real Mothers say. Again I am glad you found her, and I hope you both can heal together and renew the bond you once had. That's the real soul food :) M is a cutie pie, and your other children are too, and all of you together are a beautiful family. A family I wish the absolute best for. So love and peace to you too, Kristina.The Improper Adopteehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/04460201280334904431noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6135864040815968690.post-10598667520510837222010-02-15T21:50:25.779-05:002010-02-15T21:50:25.779-05:00Hey IA ~
Well, I know that everyone that has been ...Hey IA ~<br />Well, I know that everyone that has been affected by adoption has different feelings, thoughts and experiences. When i say that i am "proud" for making that decision, I mean it only b/c i was so stupid and messed up at that time in my life and to be capable of carrying a baby, choosing to give her a chance at life - and a good life full of love and opportunity with caring parents ~ that was a miracle in itself...<br />I had a really messed up childhood, came from a wacked out family, i was sent to live in numerous foster homes as a teenager, when i got out of foster care i started using drugs - a lot of them. i drank all the time and lots of other stuff...i was really self destructive. i was also a cutter. i needed help, but i never got any. i was alone. i went through my pregnancy alone. to me, at that time, adoption was what i felt was the right choice. but again, i had no support. i couldn't take care of myself, there was no way in hell i could take care of a baby.<br />as soon as i gave birth to M and placed her with her parents i went back to drugs. i was an extremely selfish person. it took years of self induced hell, addiction to heroin and then ultimately a judge to get the help i so desperately needed.<br />i didn't know how to love myself, how could i love anyone else? i cannot regret the choices i made in the past. i had very close friends growing up that were adopted and they had amazing lives, so much so that i wished i was adopted. <br />i feel that adoption is a positive thing if the baby is placed with loving, stable people.<br />i am sorry we disagree :(<br />can i ask you what has made you feel so negative towards adoption?<br />were your adoptive parents bad to you?<br />i really want to understand. i am not a bad person, i try to do what is good, i don't ever want to hurt anyone, that is not my intent.<br />Love and Peace to You - Mama K.Kristinahttps://www.blogger.com/profile/07334881879650914173noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6135864040815968690.post-89318018335151352572010-02-15T18:57:31.848-05:002010-02-15T18:57:31.848-05:00I'd like to ask you a question. What do you me...I'd like to ask you a question. What do you mean by you couldn't raise a child? Exactly why? What are all the reasons. I hope things go well with your daughter, for her sake. But I have to tell you, that if my Real Mother was on the internet, like you are, relaying that she didn't want me and was proud she had placed me, I'd die........The Improper Adopteehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/04460201280334904431noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6135864040815968690.post-55142239310449849262010-02-07T18:24:03.333-05:002010-02-07T18:24:03.333-05:00Hi Kristina!
I found your blog through a google al...Hi Kristina!<br />I found your blog through a google alert. <br /><br />What an amazing thing to be found by your daughter ~ on FB! I hope that her mom realizes that love can multiply, that M can love you without taking love away from her. The fact that you told M that she had to tell her mom says a lot. <br /><br />I am a reunited natural mom, my son was born in 1979, we were "found" through reunion registries online a year ago. I have a feeling it is loyalty to his mom that is keeping him from wanting to meet in person. I wish that adoptive moms could know that we are not evil moms wanting to steal our children back!<br /><br />Congrats on being found! I look forward to future posts. The poetry is beautiful ~ written by you? If so, you should share some more!<br /><br />SusieSusiehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/07896750259463588813noreply@blogger.com