Tuesday, September 7, 2010

:::::::Help Me Mama::::::::

Music often helps me express what i'm thinking and feeling but am unable to put into my own words.
Usually , They are thoughts and feelings that elude me - coming from a hidden place, blue skies and pain.
This song is by a friend of mine's band
Georgia Born  - Widespread Panic.
( Dave is also adopted and i got the pleasure of meeting his First Sister Lily and her husband before I moved from Athens - Dave had reunited with his First Family after his band became successful and was happy in reunion with all of them )
The song is called AUNT AVIS.
It's about Family.
Something I experienced a few times when i was very young, but then faded out into the abyss as I got older.
I don't know what its like to have big family dinners or parties or holidays.
The last one i remember was  preceded by an event that scarred me for life.
My mother told my grandmother ( who we had lived with from the time i was 5 until i was 12 )
That she was taking me away from her and that she would not see me again.
My grandmother had been drinking and grabbed a knife and chased my mother up the stairs and on top of her, trying to stab her while my grandfather and my mother's current boy-toy tried to pry her off before my mother ended up dead.
I stood there and watched. Never so scared in all my life. I was eleven.
That was the last "family" holiday memory i have.
I have never had a tribe to belong to. If i had, I know my whole life would have been different.
but that's rhetorical fantasy, so what's the point.
Well, my point to posting this video is that it's about Family. A Family that is being sung about and summoned, but that is non-existent.
...and in the video...Very Awkward. To this I can relate.
To this day, My Holiday "Family" Gatherings consist of Me, My Husband and our 2 Girls.
I finally have a Tribe. And for that I am Grateful.








LYRICS - Aunt Avis      ~ by: Widespread Panic

Help me mama, for I have grinned
Save me daddy from where I'm goin'
Call out to me from the ages beyond
Help me remember how to be good
How to continue when I feel I really shouldn't
How to remember how to be good
How to continue when I feel I really shouldn't


Help me granddaddy to see the swans
Strike me granny with your golden palm
Teach me now what I could never learn before
How to remember how to be good
How to continue when I feel I really shouldn't
How to remember how to be good
How to continue when I feel I really shouldn't


Teach me Great Uncle to hear the talk
Show me Aunt Avis with your ageless chalk
Scratch it out for me on my cloudy retina
How to remember how to be good
How to continue when I know I really shouldn't
How to remember how to be good
How to continue when I know I really shouldn't
How to remember how to be good
How to continue when I feel I really shouldn't




1 comment:

  1. OMG...that's all I can say! I'm sending HUGE hugs and lots of love your way!

    ReplyDelete

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