:::::::Help Me Mama::::::::

Music often helps me express what i'm thinking and feeling but am unable to put into my own words.
Usually , They are thoughts and feelings that elude me - coming from a hidden place, blue skies and pain.
This song is by a friend of mine's band
Georgia Born  - Widespread Panic.
( Dave is also adopted and i got the pleasure of meeting his First Sister Lily and her husband before I moved from Athens - Dave had reunited with his First Family after his band became successful and was happy in reunion with all of them )
The song is called AUNT AVIS.
It's about Family.
Something I experienced a few times when i was very young, but then faded out into the abyss as I got older.
I don't know what its like to have big family dinners or parties or holidays.
The last one i remember was  preceded by an event that scarred me for life.
My mother told my grandmother ( who we had lived with from the time i was 5 until i was 12 )
That she was taking me away from her and that she would not see me again.
My grandmother had been drinking and grabbed a knife and chased my mother up the stairs and on top of her, trying to stab her while my grandfather and my mother's current boy-toy tried to pry her off before my mother ended up dead.
I stood there and watched. Never so scared in all my life. I was eleven.
That was the last "family" holiday memory i have.
I have never had a tribe to belong to. If i had, I know my whole life would have been different.
but that's rhetorical fantasy, so what's the point.
Well, my point to posting this video is that it's about Family. A Family that is being sung about and summoned, but that is non-existent.
...and in the video...Very Awkward. To this I can relate.
To this day, My Holiday "Family" Gatherings consist of Me, My Husband and our 2 Girls.
I finally have a Tribe. And for that I am Grateful.

LYRICS - Aunt Avis      ~ by: Widespread Panic
Help me mama, for I have grinned
Save me daddy from where I'm goin'
Call out to me from the ages beyond
Help me remember how to be good
How to continue when I feel I really shouldn't
How to remember how to be good
How to continue when I feel I really shouldn't


Help me granddaddy to see the swans
Strike me granny with your golden palm
Teach me now what I could never learn before
How to remember how to be good
How to continue when I feel I really shouldn't
How to remember how to be good
How to continue when I feel I really shouldn't


Teach me Great Uncle to hear the talk
Show me Aunt Avis with your ageless chalk
Scratch it out for me on my cloudy retina
How to remember how to be good
How to continue when I know I really shouldn't
How to remember how to be good
How to continue when I know I really shouldn't
How to remember how to be good
How to continue when I feel I really shouldn't

THE DEMONIZED MOTHER by Margaret McDonald Lawrence

Promoting Infant Adoption

THE DEMONIZED MOTHER
by Margaret McDonald Lawrence
(From a speech to The First National American Adoption Congress, Washington D.C. May 4, 1979)

No-one could have encapsulated the need of the adoption industry to manufacture the demonization of the natural mother as the most pivotal and necessary requirement in the promotion of, and social acceptance of adoption, as Lawrence when she states how:
In order to bring the issues surrounding the intermediary system into clear focus, it is necessary to examine the myths and motives that surround the adoption experience. Outsiders need to realize that social agencies not only control adoption procedures, but also control the information about the institution which is provided to the courts, the legislature and the public.
It is the child welfare establishment that has provided the picture of [natural] mothers as indifferent - as mothers who abandon their unwanted children with a wish to remain forever hidden from them. They know that this is seldom true, but it helps to facilitate their work for the public to believe this. Society does not dismiss the importance of the natural family as readily as the social planners, and so it is useful to portray [surrendering] parents as different from caring parents.
The [natural] mother must be different, an aberration; for if it were true that she had the same degree of love for her child as all other mothers, the good of adoption would be overwhelmed by the tragedy of it. Adoptive parents are somewhat relieved of guilt if they can be assured that the [natural] parents truly did not want their child; for, under those circumstances, it is possible to feel entitled to claim the child of others. Neither society nor the mother who holds the child in her arms wants to confront the agony of the mother from whose arms that same child was taken. But that agony is real, as we have come to learn through our experience with reunions.

If you REALLY want to learn some Raw Truth about Adoption, Adoption Practices and The Triad Myth , I suggest you take a look here:

HEALING FAMILIES DISMEMBERED BY ADOPTION


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The Birth Mother Voice: Missouri and Adoption

The Birth Mother Voice: Missouri and Adoption