Thursday, February 11, 2010

Ten Thousand Words:::

I have been reading a lot of blogs the past few days. Blogs of Mothers, First Mothers, Adoptive Mothers, Adopted Children and Adult Children. I have read a slew of comments, I have seen and felt SO much emotion. I have started to SEE and FEEL how adoption affects people, I have cried and smiled. I have witnessed women just wanting so badly to be heard, but most importantly - to be Understood.
A lot of Words.
I have been saddened by some of these words, especially the words of mothers who have such pain that they try to make those of us who have that pain also but have chosen to heal and love through that pain - they have tried to push us back down with their words. cutting words. Words wrapped in eloquent intellectual and often biased anger and frustration. I get it. The pain is real.
The truth of it is that we, ourselves, are the only ones that can validate and heal our pain. noone else. That our peace and understanding come from within, not from without. We will never find peace attempting to coerce others to see and feel as we do. What we are all seeking through our blogs may differ, depending on our adoption experience. The common thread here is that we want a platform to express ourselves and to be heard.
Some mothers want and need support. Some mothers just want to vent. Some mothers want to share their Joy.
Some Mothers want only to share their Pain. Some Mothers want to advocate for change. Some Mothers want to help other Mothers, and some Don't. Some Mothers want to use Sarcasm and Demeaning Verbiage to tell other Mothers who feel and see things differently, to "take off their Rosy Glasses and get real". Some Mothers want to force Happiness and Peace b/c they know that that is what has pulled them out of the Big Black Hole of Loss.
It's A lot to Swallow. I try to read and be objective to all these truths, but sometimes it's hard.
I know, because of what I have experienced, that Peace can only come from within. We will never "find" peace by reading a blog or by demanding others to feel/think the same way I do. Never.
Peace is here with us. Always. It is the True essence of who and what we are. Grace is the Gift that helps us experience peace, but we must be still and breathe it in to experience that peace. The cost is FEELING our emotion, becoming one with it - whether happy or sad - and then trusting in the Divine Process, Healing is our Reward.
Today I choose Love. I'm done with Pain.


  1. "Immancipate yourself from mental slavery
    None but ourselves can free our own minds." ~ Bob Marley

    This is a great post! Hit it out of the ball park, touchdown and a hat trick all in one! Beautifully put, to the point and so very compassionate to all mothers of all stories. I agree, those words are our swords and sometimes the swords cross.

    But you my friend, you just keep being you. ANd keep up the writing, I think you are coming into your own these last couple of weeks!!!

    Big hugs to you Moma K!!!

  2. I could not have said that better myself, and I certainly hope that many of those out there that are seething with hatred and hopelessness will take you words to heart.

    I have heard it said many times that "we must BE the change we want to see in the world", and by spreading the positive, we are able to do that.

    I blog as a way to vent and heal. To educate and advocate. None of us are experts. Not one of us has "the answer". All we have are our stories and our choice as to how we let it affect us.

    I read a blog from another Birth Mother yesterday that was so hateful and angry that it sat with me for hours. And then I saw your post this morning, and was refreshed.

    Please continue writing, and sharing, and being the positive influence that you are! Plenty will benefit from it!

  3. Hi Kristina.
    Have you read this?
    It was compiled by Claudia Corrigan D'Arcy, who does not chastise people for not mirroring her feelings or echoing her opinions.
    Anyway, it is relevant and informative, and I know she is happy for people to pass it on

  4. Oho, my bad. This is the particular link I meant:
    However, it's all worth a read.

  5. Thanks Snowdrop :~)
    Not sure if I have read that one, will def check it out - I LOVE me some Claud!! xxxooo

  6. Hello! Just blog-hopping! :) Have a nice day!


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